Excuses are lies.
I think this statement speaks for itself. Making excuses for why things are not progressing the way you want is just lying to yourself. Every choice you make, every action you take leads you somewhere and if that place is not where you wanted to be, then you need to retrace your steps and learn where you misstepped.
It is very easy to blame others or make excuses for our failures. Our teens do this all the time:
“I failed because my teacher sucks!”
“He/She started it!”
“I never have enough time to get these things done.”
“You didn’t remind me!”
Personal Responsibility and The Victor Mentality is one of the hardest thing to teach our teens.
As they are growing up and trying to find themselves, they struggle with self worth, self validation and finding the right group or tribe to be a part of. Any sort of failure or blame that they accept impacts how they feel about themselves. Naturally, they do not want to feel this way or be viewed in a negative light so they make excuses for why things did not work out or blame others for things being the way they are.
What they are missing here is the power of vulnerability. They are truly at their most impactful and powerful when they access this vulnerability. Saying , “I am sorry.”, accepting responsibility and sharing blame are traits of true leaders. When we can be honest with ourselves and recognize our role in our success or failure not only do we grow but we inspire others to take responsibility too and stop playing the blame game.
It is so important to lead by example as parents and teach our teens that it is vital to always see your role in your circumstances. When they blame others or don’t take responsibility, they actually miss the lesson that is right in front of them.
Clearly, some scenarios may be out of their control and the consequences they faced may not have been avoidable. Truth is, that path they took was still a choice and if they think back to how they got there, they may realize there actually was another path to take.
CREDIT TO MARK CHERNOFF FOR THESE LESSONS